It doesn’t matter what I write. As long as I type it with passion along with a certain researched and practiced intellectuality. I don’t want to play unless I’m hooked like a fish. Dangle an action packed introduction that serves as a focused crash course on the basic game mechanics like I’m a catfish hungry for Kool-Aid dipped hot dogs. Also big words. Long sentences. That’s no lie. The hook brings you back. Press that power button and pick up the controller. Now for the harmonica solo.

Where is the best place for a game to dangle its bait soaked hook in front of the player? Well, at the beginning of course. Great designers know this, so in more linear gameplay and narrative driven games some of the best writing and content occurs in the first few hours. How often have the guys at the newly departed Irrational introduced a deep mystery to the player only to give them a satisfying bread crumb trail that gives them detail after detail at an almost agonizingly slow pace. But you keep going. You have to see how this crazy tale of this megalomaniac Andrew Ryan ends! You have to stop SHODAN!

How many people got hooked to Final Fantasy VII as a result of its action packed intro, essentially putting all the story and character development on hold for the first hour while you infiltrate the Sector 1 Reactor and blow it to smithereens. The rest of Midgar can get quite strange, from Wall Market crossdressing to a talking dog like creature. In FF8 you watch a nice swordfight, and it can get you pumped up if its your first time playing. Unlike the predecessor you watch the action, then wake up and spend a quiet day at school before doing anything based on action, and then you’re rudely interrupted by tutorials! Its quite a contrast compared to the sudden, jarring start of FF7.

Shut up!

Shigeru Miyamoto has said that the most important part of a video game is the first thirty minutes. There needs to be something in the first few minutes of a game to really get the player pumped up and eager to play. Pick up almost any game designed or lead by Miyamoto and you can see how true he sticks to this philosophy, from Donkey Kong, to Star Fox, to New Super Mario Bros.

For a game designed around fast and precise gameplay this seems a bit more simple, just let the player play the game. A long, narrative based game like an RPG presents another challenge though. The story might not really kick in for 10 to 30 hours, maybe not until the final act. An action packed start such as the one I mentioned in FF7 or the slaughter of the Unicorn Brigade at the beginning of Suikoden II can really get the player on the side of the protagonists, or questioning them. A slower paced character driven introduction can be just as effective though. If you’re playing an RPG you’re probably doing it for the story after all.

Some games have been so painfully slow for me that continuing would probably leave me with a perpetual scowl than any sort of accomplishment. Yes. I am looking at my copy of Grandia III. Three hours and nothing has happened. Nothing! I haven’t even left town yet! Grandia II is much quicker in comparison, with action in the first half hour and great character introductions.

Even the first two Fallouts have introductions that can almost cause ulcers, and those are two of my favorite games of all time! In the first one the first thing you do once you’ve left Vault 13 is kill a bunch of rats while leaving the cave that Vault 13 is in. Good for experience, but dull from a player’s perspective. Fallout 2 isn’t much different, except switch rats out with little radscorpions and giant ants inside the Temple of Trials. The first thing you do in the Fallout universe is play exterminator.

One thing that bugs me about games anymore is the inclusion of a mandatory tutorial. They have been around for some time, but they serve no narrative purpose and always break the fourth wall by telling you what button to press. I know what the X button does! I’ve been playing Playstation since before they were numbered! I remember a time before analog sticks and Dualshock! Get off my lawn! If I need to know what the buttons do then I’ll read the manual. But they don’t make those anymore, now I’m looking at Tales of Xillia.

When a game like Thief: The Dark Project makes the tutorial an option on the main menu its quite refreshing. You know it exists seperate from the game world because you don’t play the tutorial after selecting “Start Game”. Besides, a mandatory tutorial kills replay value as it is a guaranteed 20 minutes to an hour of just sitting there mashing the buttons to make the text go away. Final Fantasy VIII is an example of hellish tutorials. That time could be spent on an excellent cinematic scene that blows the player away from the moment they select “New Game”. A tutorial is not a hook. It is not bait. It is boredom. Don’t force us to keep playing tutorials. They should always be optional.

So what are some of your favorite gaming introductions and hooks? Least favorites? Have any gripes about modern games that you can’t avoid? Rant about them here!